Welcome to the life-changing discovery of the 5 Love Languages labelled as such by Dr Gary Chapman who discovered them.
Knowing the way we express love lowers the risk of misunderstandings and deepens our message.
We all primarily show our love the way we would like to see the other show his or her love for us. There is nothing wrong with that; in fact, it is quite natural. Yet it leads to misunderstandings when we don’t share the same primary love language (LL).
A love language is nothing more than a way we express our love and care for someone.
What does Quality Touch mean?
When Quality Touch is our primary love language we are particularly sensitive to physical contact. Our tactile receptors all over our body are ready for a gentle, pleasurable contact. They are also in alert. A negative contact, such as a slap, a harsh push will have far more impact on a person who has Quality Touch as a primary LL.
Physical contact has more importance than words to convey messages of love. You look for physical contact with the ones you love. It can be subtle with a simple contact, or a light caress on the hand, or it can be more obvious through hugs and kisses.
That does not mean that you would love your loved one to be all over you all the time. There are times when you crave contact and times when you would not appreciate it.
The tricky part is that everyone is unique with the sensitivity of their tactile receptors, and only you know best how and when it feels nice to be touched.
In your relationship, intimacy is particularly important because it is the only the opportunity for you to feel loved and express love.
How can Quality Touch lead to misinterpretation?
In this world we live in, when political correctness often makes physical contact a dirty thing, having Quality Touch as a primary love language can lead someone to trouble.
Remember that you express love and care primarily through physical contact: you will touch, caress, hug at the first opportunity.
If your partner does not understand your love language, they might ignore your gentle caress, or worse reject it because it embarrasses them.
And you might hear that it is inappropriate to do that in this circumstance. For you, though it is a downright rejection, heartily felt.
In addition, you might not feel loved only because your partner does not share with you the importance of this love language, and will only touch you in the intimacy of your bedroom. You, therefore, crave shown affection through contact.
What can you do to fill your love tank?
For this particular love language, your awareness is key. The more you understand your body, and what matters for you most, the more you will be able to explain your way of loving to your partner and be mindful of their reluctance to physical contact.
Your task, therefore, is to fine tune how you love to be touched, where you like it most, and when you would love this interaction.
Beyond the simple contacts that you can teach your partner to do, such as knees touching under the table, you can also deepen the conversation about your intimacy and learn more about how your partner wants to be touched.
This may not be an easy conversation to have but it is well worth your effort. People who do not have this LL as a primary love language may avoid this important conversation that all couples should have. You and your partner are both lucky that it is a necessity for you.